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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and orders a double Nebraska. The bartender turns around and says ""Sorry, we don't have *NE*."""

"Ever been so completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid."

"Why did the alligator go to Disney World? To get some tots! #toosoon?"

"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"

"Three-legged dog A three-legged dog walks into a saloon and says to the bartender, ""I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."""

"It's an age-old question, but which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster."

"A thief broke into my house last night He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him."

"Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: ""Me sick, no work"" Boss SMS back: ""When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"" 2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss: ""Me ok, ur wife very sweet"""

"How do you make a Vietnamese girl pregnant and rich at the same time? Give her the dong."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite city to visit. Islamabad"