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Joke of the Day

"Why is Wendy never pregnant? Because Peter's sperm Neverlands."

"My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat"

"What do you want to eat a week after thanksgiving? Anything but fucking turkey..."

"How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white? BLE-YATCH!"

"Took my girlfriend to the ice cream factory and she fell into the gelato machine She's a sore bae now."

"I used to be in a band called Cheap Viagra'. We didn't make it very big."

"A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: ""And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"" the reporter asked. She simply replied ""No peer pressure."""

"Vacationing in Switzerland ""So did you enjoy the beautiful scenery?"" ""I couldn't really see much because of the mountains."""

"Checking if my webcam is on when I do really shady shit is my grown up version of checking under my bed for monsters."

"Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and body-slam them for maximum impact."