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Joke of the Day

"So I was talking to my 13 year old friend online.... And out of nowhere she told me she was an FBI agent. How cool is that?!"

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was there He said he couldn't complain"

"Like Bjork always says, ""When life gives you lemons, giggle in childish wonder as they confide in you their citrusy secrets."""

"Which doesn't belong: Meat, a Blow Job, Your Wife, An Egg A blowjob, because you can't beat a blowjob."

"Your greatness is measured by the font-size of your obituary."

"Why cant Helen Keller drive? She's a woman"

"I call my Missus's mimsy 'The Tardis' Not because it's bigger inside than I expected. It's just that she's had several dozen companions and at least one dog in there."

"What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant? Wishful thinking. Obviously"

"What does a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common? They both thought ""my Mom's gonna kill me."""

"Big sale in the perfume department ... it's all 50 per scent off."