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Joke of the Day

"New warning label: Quitting cigarettes significantly increases the amount of money you will have for pot."

"How many tweakers does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?"

"What did one orange say to the other orange? Do you speak Mandarin?"

"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."

"Why do new Irish mothers keep dying? Because they lack taters"

"Anyone notice the irony behind ""hyphenated"" and ""non-hyphenated""?"

"What's the difference between Myspace and My space? One Space."

"Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"What has 99 legs and one tooth? The front row at a Willie Nelson concert."

"Three French cats were sailing... There was a hole in the boat and un deux trois quatre cinq."