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Joke of the Day

"New warning label: Quitting cigarettes significantly increases the amount of money you will have for pot."

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"How many tweakers does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?"
"What did one orange say to the other orange? Do you speak Mandarin?"
"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."
"Why do new Irish mothers keep dying? Because they lack taters"
"Anyone notice the irony behind ""hyphenated"" and ""non-hyphenated""?"
"What's the difference between Myspace and My space? One Space."
"Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
"What has 99 legs and one tooth? The front row at a Willie Nelson concert."
"Three French cats were sailing... There was a hole in the boat and un deux trois quatre cinq."