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Joke of the Day

"This recent question was presented to a German national: What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany? Uncertainty or indifference?' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'"

"Mother: What do you mean the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit."

"As I spread my girlfriend's ass cheeks, I thought to myself... This is the weirdest thing I've ever had on toast."

"What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh..."

"A man buys a house The guy he buys it from says ""we printed out the deed but didn't have paper so we printed it on this plank of wood, will that be okay?"" ""That wooden deed"""

"Sometimes when I'm about to sneeze, I snort some glitter. Then when I finally sneeze, glitter fills the air and people think I'm a wizard."

"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have & waste an entire day without having a life."

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"Do you know why one side of the the V formation of geese in flight is longer than the other side? Because It has more geese in it!"

"She threw her vibrator on the subway tracks... It didn't work; the train didn't come any faster."