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Joke of the Day

"Don't move to Mars because of president-elect Trump. Last I checked, it was a red state."

"The reason why Clinton is a super secret agent of the alt right is because... She has a frog in her throat."

"I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75 and she has $.25"

"I got kicked out of the cancer ward at my hospital today. Apparently laughter isn't the best medicine."

"I'm getting worried about the amount of violence in modern society. I went to a pet shop and asked the man behind the counter ""Do you have fat balls? He punched me on the nose."

"My mate with Tourettes was cured after walking into a Gay Bar ""Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!"" He shouted.... He's not said a word since..!!"

"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? Shame and sadness at the slow decline of their once beautiful and vibrant culture."

"A really hot girl walks into a bar... brb"

"Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him? -To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail"

"My friend and I were hiking... Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there!""**"