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Joke of the Day

"My friend and I were hiking... Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there!""**"

"What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry."

"A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"My cat refuses to approach strangers. He's such a pussy."

"Let's all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas."

"Dance like you're not the father"

"Science created airplanes and skyscrapers Faith brought them together"

"Guess what my lonesome self and my right hand did for Valentines day. Sign Valentines cards for my relatives."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had not arms."

"I dropped my phone when my friend accidently bumped my arm. It didn't break but for a moment I saw her whole life flash in front of my eyes."