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Joke of the Day

"just found out today that monkeys don't lay eggs. so what have i been buying on craigslist. what have i been eating"

"If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!"

"I asked a pretty homeless woman... I asked a pretty homeless women if I could take her home, she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box."

"Why can't you eat a wookie? Because they're too chewie!"

"My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries so I had to brush with my acoustic."

"What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home? Got high."

"Did you hear about the physics student that committed suicide by jumping off a skyscraper? What a shame. He had so much potential."

"My favorite porn website changed their header to include a breast cancer awareness ribbon, so you could say I'm somewhat of an activist."

"Why did the bike fall over? It was too tired"

"A massive meteor hit Russia injuring hundreds. Rihanna insists the meteor has changed & that everyone should give the meteor another chance."