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Joke of the Day

"Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance Long story short, my girlfriend said no."

"Microsoft has realized that all their products get better PR by naming it after Halo mythology. I'm expecting the next Windows version to be Windows 117."

"How bout I hold a toaster over you while you're in the tub, and you tweet something that doesn't make me drop it."

"If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it... A hipster bought the soundtrack."

"What's worse than a chauvinist man? A woman who doesn't know her place."

"How many virgins does take to change a lightbulb? Obviously more than 72, or all those suicide bomber would have seen the light."

"Why does Hellen Keller use two hands for masturbation? One to masturbate, one to moan."

"How Many Marshawn Lynches Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? Only one. Just as long as you hand him the damn lightbulb."

"How did Brandon Lee's wife get pregnant? The prop guy said he was shooting blanks!"

"What do you call an Italian man without arms? A mute. Sorry if repost."