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Joke of the Day

"I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y."

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"How many Jews does it take to fix a country? -6 million"
"If anyone advises you how much lettuce to put on your burger, stop them right there. That's just the tip of the iceberg."
"What do you call a scruffy lazy ant? Decadant."
"Sometimes, When I Think Of My Books... I touch my shelf."
"It's a SHOT in the dark, but you might find this funny. Why did the bros take a shot of alcohol together? Because if one bro takes a shot, the other takes a slug! #Bromanceforlife #Dietogether"
"My head feels like something Picasso would have drawn."
"Your love life"
"I would like to think money won't change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil."
"""We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here,"" says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."