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Joke of the Day

"So I was eating out my Grandma... ...And I tasted horse semen and thought, *Ohh, so that's how she died.*"

"I answer private number calls with: ""Rent a Gent hello"""

"The barber in my neighborhood just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 4 years, and I never knew he was a barber."

"I post stuff in the wrong sub-reddits. AMA wait... FUCK"

"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome"

"Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?"

"TIL... Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep...."

"what lies dead, a hundred feet in the air? a dead centipede"

"I wish they made aviator goggles for cats because my cat looks pretty dumb riding in my motorcycle's sidecar without them."

"For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism."