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Joke of the Day

"I like to write ""made you look"" on folded pieces of paper and place them under car windshield wipers in parking lots."

"I slept with a Blind Girl She kept telling me how huge my cock was but I'm pretty sure she was just pulling my leg."

"I'm a vegan and a registered sex offender... When I move into a new neighbourhood, what am I supposed to tell everyone first?"

"Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common? Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead."

"Barksy, it's like Banksy, but he's a dog. Now I just sit back and watch the retweets roll in."

"What's the difference between hazelnuts and deernuts? Hazelnuts are normally around $1.50/lb, deernuts are always under a buck."

"What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do? Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog."

"Arguing with a woman is a lot like reading a license agreement By the end, you ignore everything and just click ""agree""."

"My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I'd go to hell for."

"In our football match today the opposition hit the bar three times in the first half. I know we're not very good but they could have at least waited until the end to celebrate."