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Joke of the Day

"How does Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap."

"If I was your alarm clock, how would I wake you up every morning? With a big dong......."

"In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform."

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Woman? You have to drop the bomb twice."

"You are a lioness and I am your lion.. ..now be a good lioness and bring me some food!"

"Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase ""but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Hot, mocha, and overpriced. Prostitutes. I like prostitutes."

"I'm so sick I feel like a white boy at his first Kanye concert (masterpiece)"

"a haunted house but it's just people paying bills and waiting in line at the DMV"

"Why do bald guys cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."