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Joke of the Day

"Listening to your wife is like reading iTunes' user agreement... ... you don't understand anything, but you still agree with it."

"My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend."

"What's the difference between Boy Scouts and Jews Boy Scouts come back from their camps"

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool"""

"What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle? A Wienerschnitzel."

"How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years."

"School is just like a boner, it's hard and long... Unless you're asian"

"What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral? Mourning wood."

"Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks? So his boss doesn't have to retrain him."

"Following someone around is typically defined as ""stalking"" At my university, it's defined as ""finding a parking space"""