177286

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 12."

"DOG BOSS: Any messages for me? DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy DOG BOSS: who's Agoodboy? DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*"

"Advice to women: don't confuse men with credit cards."

"God must be a Republican. He wasn't that into humans until He found His Son was one."

"Mommy told me I should make some friends So I became a necromancer"

"Jehovah's Witnesses were the original pop-up ads."

"Your mom fails so hard at life...[nsfw] I gave her a D out of sympathy."

"Sometimes at the beach it's like ""gross, is that a condom?"" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children."

"How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb. None. Californians screw in hot tubs."

"I fell bottom-first on to a window today. It was a pane in the arse."