200358

Joke of the Day

"I fell bottom-first on to a window today. It was a pane in the arse."

"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"

"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"

"What did the number zero say to the number eight? ""Nice belt."""

"I have a problem with taking things literally. My attorney advises me that it's called 'theft'."

"An atom loses an electron... It says, ""man, I really gotta keep an ion them."" Edit: RIP inbox, nearly thought Reddit Au was coming Edit 2: First Reddit au! Thanks kind stranger!"

"My doctor told me that I had Eczema on my elbow... I told him that was pretty redundant. Eggs on my on my elbow? So much for that PhD. I just hope it goes away before they hatch..."

"What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra? The whole place turned into a Hardee's."

"You matter Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy."

"My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: ""Uh, go buy new clothes?"" Have kids. It's fun."