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Joke of the Day

"Plans to make the new TV series, CSI Baton Rouge were scrapped yesterday. The producers discovered that nobody has any dental records and everybody has the same DNA!"

"A woman I met had 13 children all named David. When I asked her how she calls just one of them, she said, ""Oh that's easy; I just call them by their last names."""

"What do you call the moisture build-up between two cousins having sex? Relative humidity"

"What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities"

"A1 Use this punchline to create a weird, funny tone... ""Listen, we need to sit down and have a long, hard, and possibly phallic conversation."""

"I blew a speaker in my car today yea, he was motivational speaker, it left a bad taste in my mouth but I've been feeling a lot more positive ever since."

"The leader of my weekly therapy group told me that doing positive things gives you happiness. So now I only have sex with hookers who say they're positive."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"I like playing chess with bald men in the park... although its hard to find 32 of them."

"I love when girls say they need a man that can keep up with them... but immediately go into hysterics when I catch them."