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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: I was named after my grandfather. Me: Of course you were, he was born first."

"Religion is like a penis Its okay to have one... But problems arise when to you force it down someones throats."

"Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I'll read 4 or 5 status updates and I'll cry, because they suck and I realize that I've wasted 2 or 3 minutes of my life."

"Rappers are terrible with pets: the Baja Men let their dogs out, DMX never knows where his dogs are at, and Pitbull is awful."

"Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?"

"Collection There was some guy collecting the waste from the urinals at work today. I think he was taking the piss to be honest."

"Did you know Captain Kirk has three ears? Left ear, right ear... and final front ear."

"Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other 'I don't like your friend.' The other one replied 'Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.'"

"My girlfriend is from another Nation. ImagiNATION"

"Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies? They like their fur long! I'll show myself out..."