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Joke of the Day

"A cell's sister stepped on the cell's toe. ""Mitosis"""

"Why don't you ever watch old people have sex? You ever spread open a grilled cheese?"

"If pigs could vote they'd always vote for the guy who brings the food, even though he's the same one who will slaughter and eat them later."

"A seal walks into a club And soon after an Inuit family has a nice meal."

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a BMW? I don't have a BMW in my garage. ....and if I did, I *probably* wouldn't masturbate in it."

"What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on? An unaware wolf."

"When Jesus comes back, how will they discover if he's Jesus or Robot Jesus? by giving him the shroud of turing test."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"""Honey, we're out of bootleg DVDs, and Samurai swords."" - Flea Market attendees."

"When you give up and stop believing in yourself, it's much easier to worship and idolize another. That's how ass kissing and celebrity worshiping begins."