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Joke of the Day

"Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used? A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole."

"I cried when I cut up onions... Onions was a good dog."

"What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with ""C"" and ends with ""T"", and has a ""U"" and an ""N"" in it? A coconut."

"The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week. And those were faked with 1960s technology."

"I wish I felt as much passion for something as my dogs feel towards the doorbell."

"What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross."

"I was sitting on the toilet, constipated... The undropped turd asked me, ""Man, what did you eat?!"" ""A pound of cheese,"" I said. The turd said, ""You're shittin' me."" I said, ""I shit you not."""

"A Vegan, a crossfitter and a Game of thrones fan walk into a bar, 5 minutes later everybody knew about it."

"Cows should really stop putting ""delicious"" on their resumes."

"My job sent me to a sexual harassment seminar last week... And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it."