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Joke of the Day

"ME: Ok, that's everything in the dishwasher *closes dishwasher door* *turns it on* *turns around* TEASPOON: You're not gonna believe this"

"I found out something today. You should always stay happy because 'sad' spelled backwards is das. Andd.... das not good."

"A man was arrested for eating... He was at food COURT"

"My wife just gave me that come hither look and when I come hithered she pointed to the trash"

"If I was Steve Jobs I would engrave on my tombstone: iDied."

"What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming? My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

"Blind man walks into a bar... And a table, and a chair."

"What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 ho's."

"How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye"

"Priorities They say people have their best ideas in the shower. I'm mostly trying to remember to wash my face before I wash my ass."