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Joke of the Day

"I've been to multiple yard and garage sales, but have never walked away with a plot of land or a place to store my vehicles."

"PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds"

"I just found bacteria growing on my chocolate bar. I guess there is life on Mars after all."

"Why didnt Jesus become a boxer? Crosses killed him."

"How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox? It couldn't contain itself."

"What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda"

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing."

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem walks into a bar... And I kid you not, he came out of NOWHERE"

"When someone tells me to give them a straight answer, I make sure I go out of my way to give them a really gay one."

"Operator: 911 Me: My wife is going into labor, what do I do? O: Relax sir, is this her first born? Me: No, this is her husband."