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Joke of the Day

"If I got kidnapped I'd continuously sing Pitbull songs until they kill me, I'd die but at least they'd suffer too."

"Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!"

"Hey, want to play the rape game? No? That's the spirit!"

"What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids."

"I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society. It's the thought that cunts!"

"Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers"

"I wish I was your derivative, So I can lie tangent to your curves."

"what's the best part of living in Sweden? Well, the flags a big plus. edit: FUCK meant Switzerland"

"Old man ear hair is an evolutionary survival trait based on 10's of thousands of years to drown out spousal bitching"

"My girlfriend Likes to dress up like her self and act like a bitch."