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Joke of the Day
"An ISIS member walks into a bar And He offers everyone free shots!"
Next Joke
"In 2000 years, people will celebrate all this with chocolate eggs delivered by an imaginary rabbit. ~Time travelling me, to Pontius Pilate."
"Do I play fantasy football? Dude, I'm 46 and married. Most of my life is fantasy."
"Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is."
"Some cocaine addicts get very glossy skin. It's the charlie sheen"
"What's Macho Man Randy Savage's favourite capital city? Skopje!!"
"What's the deal with airplane peanuts? I mean, seriously, are they seeing anyone?"
"How to be cool: A) Use the cool sunglasses emoticon B)"
"Never trust an atom They make up *everything*"
"Happy ending massages don't count as cheating... Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet."