175043

Joke of the Day

"If you wear a radioactive belt... ...you end up with nuclear waist."

"What's the best part of growing up in Compton? No bad dad jokes."

"Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch."

"Need help While scratching my ear with key few hours ago, audio on my brand new TV went off. Does anyone know good TV Service. Sh... I think my Laptop sound died too."

"woodpecker What did the woodpecker say to the doughnut? You got the sweetest hole I ever stuck my pecker in."

"Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better."

"If you try to rip somebody's head off, I suggest you train for it first. If you don't succeed it makes the following few minutes awkward."

"Why didn't the Turkey cross the road? It was too Chicken."

"Wow you changed your makeup in 16 different hot ways. And where did you learn those 8 moves that drove me wild *sees Cosmo on the table* ah"

"[In Club] *slides up to girl on dance floor ""This is my jam"" *hands her a jar ""I wrote my number on the label. Text me if you want more..."""