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Joke of the Day

"The year is 2057. iPhone 742 is released. The screen touches you."

"A scientist walked into a room that was -273C Don't worry though, he was 0K"

"If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like ""get out of my Vulcan face"" and ""are you Vulcan kidding me?"""

"Some people can ruin how attractive they are by doing this weird thing with their mouth... it's called ""talking"""

"I left my .door file open for too long. It was a .jar."

"How do you know if someone was in the military? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"How to write Icelandic: 1) Put a dictionary in a blender 2) Blend 3) Pour onto table. 4) Voila!"

"I actually loved the Twilight: Eclipse movie until I realized I was actually in an alley drunk watching two cats fight over a dead mouse."

"Hub: What time is our movie tonight? Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 ""Back off ladies. He's mine"""

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Likalotapus."