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Joke of the Day

"When I hear the term ""Flash Mob"" I think of old Italian gangsters wearing nothing but trench-coats."

"""So, is there a MRS. A-Z?"" - Lady hitting on Jason Mraz"

"How would a Muslim describe Castro's gay, atheist lover? In Fidel."

"People who talk with your phone on speaker like it's a Star Trek Communicator - we're trying to have a society here. And everyone hates you."

"Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? Because it said concentrate."

"Looking out the hospital window while mom is resting on bed. That was either dad or superman falling of the roof."

"What do you call a Scotsman that's been strangled to death by his own clothing? Kilt."

"So Trump says he picked a bunch of great people to run the government... But honestly, I've seen better cabinets at IKEA."

"Twitter is the adult way of having imaginary friends."

"A really hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years time. I mean, come on guys, I don't have 20/20 vision."