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Joke of the Day

"Gremlins(1984): a shopkeeper with a creature so powerful it could destroy all human life gives it to a 12yo boy. Many lives are lost.(PG13)"

"How does a witch tell time? With a witchwatch."

"Don't expect me to tweet between 8 & 9 pm because that's when I dress like Madonna for an hour and dance provocatively in front of my pets."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes out for milk and doesn't comeback."

"I was considering posting a joke that nobody had heard of, but I realized that it is actually pretty likely that... ...you already have reddit."

"My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar. I play a lot of single player."

"I tripped over a bra today I think it was a booby trap"

"[my son brings a meme home] please can we keep him [me loading shot gun] leave the room Gregg"

"People were so scared of those vicious clowns a few months back, then they accidentally put one in office"

"I like my maths... ...how I like my sex: hard and fast. (difficult, but clear-cut)"