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Joke of the Day

"When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it"

"Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say. I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server."

"""Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."""

"So I was fingering my sister the other day. She said ""wow you do it just like dad!"" I replied ""thats what mom said"" then I found my brothers wedding ring."

"What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where's popcorn?"

"I saw a black man walking down the street with a TV. ""That looks a lot like mine..."" I thought... Then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes."

"She's a cosmetologist, bro. Astronaut stuff."

"TIFU by switching up by customer's sandwich orders at Subway Opps wrong sub."

"The Story of the Old, Empty Barn There was nothing in it."

"I'd like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I'll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don't (you know why)"