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Joke of the Day
"Let me tell you a joke about a fart. nevermind. It stinks."
Next Joke
"My wife said that we need to have a talk after my 2 year old goes down for a nap so I filled her sippy cup with Red Bull."
"Wars would be obsolete if women ruled the world There would just be a bunch of jealous countries who do not talk to eachother."
"Beltway Holdups"
"My ex girlfriend.."
"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single"
"What do the iPhone 7 and the Titanic have in common? There's no room for jack, on both of them"
"I robbed a lamppost with words printed on it. It's ok, I didn't get in trouble though. You don't get karma from text posts."
"Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN."
"The best part about being single is only having to say ""I'm sorry"" to the dog."