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Joke of the Day

"Tried to change my password to Twilight... ...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :("

"The officer said, ""you drinking?"" I said, ""you buying?"" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money."

"Why do nursing homes give men Viagra before they sleep? So they won't roll out of bed."

"There's a question in the exam that said, ""What is the past tense of 'think'?"" So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'."

"The flight attendant keeps saying ""Please stop asking for peanuts. Busses don't have flight attendants."""

"[OC] Did you hear about this new restaurant they're opening called The Glory Hole? ...Yeah, it's a real hole in the wall."

"[mean joke to girls from guys] I really hope you get the hottest boyfriend So I have a chance on hot girls"

"*jesus turns water to wine* me: you can't just insert goods into an economy you'll cause deflation Jesus: my child- me: NO! it's bullshit!"

"Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage? It was a murder most foul."

"My friend takes helium recreationally. He speaks very highly about it."