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Joke of the Day

"I'm not really a social drinker. I'd say most of my drinking is work related."

"A Priest and a Rabbi See a 8yr Old Boy. The priest says, ""Lets Fuck Him."" Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"Hey everyone. I created a new word today. Plagiarism."

"How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ? Just ask them to read this word: unionized."

"I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels."

"A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help? He was in The Nile"

"Him: I think I'm getting sick. Me: Do you want some euthanasia? Him: I'm pretty sure it's called echinacea. Me: Tomato, tomahto."

"Getting a retweet from someone with 0 followers is like being a beneficiary in a homeless person's will."

"What's the difference between a goat and a kid? My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising my goats."

"Sorry for letting the air out of one of your tires, delivery guy, but based on the way you cut my pizza, I assumed you liked things uneven."