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Joke of the Day

"Fun prank: Just leave random ""I'm sorry I hit your car"" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent."

"2 Dyslexics run into a bank And shout: Air in the hands mother stickers! This is a fuck up!"

"An Irishman walks into a bar .... An Irishman walks into a bar full of Englishmen. Looks around, and then says: ""Right, this looks like a fair fight."""

"Parenting styles often relax as you have more kids. For example my 1st born ate only all-natural, organic food. My 2nd eats broken glass."

"If you buy organic and don't tell someone about it, is it still organic?"

"HR says I'm not allowed to scream ""OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP"" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :("

"I would go to any lengths to find a good measuring tape."

"Pros and Cons of making something to eat: Pro: Something to eat Con: Making"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."

"If you plan a surprise party for me, I'll freak out that you mixed friends from all the separate facets of my life, and start killing people"