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Joke of the Day
"Why aren't koalas real bears? Because they don't meet the koalifications!"
Next Joke
"dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more"
"New Thesaurus I bought a new thesaurus, it's terrible. It's also terrible."
"Why did the cowboy get a Dachshund? Because he wanted to get a loooong little doggie."
"Why do people say love is like chemistry? Because you can put it in someones drink"
"What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea? Bouncing on a buoy (boy)"
"What kind of weed do reptiles smoke? Mariguana."
"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad"
"When you grow up it's like, ok now you can go to bed whenever you want & all you have to trade for it is the ability to ever feel joy again"
"Twitter gives me this paranoid feeling that I am being followed."