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Joke of the Day

"Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can! Why can't humans? Because they'll bite us!"

"Her: I can't believe you slept with her! Me: WE WERE ON A BREAK! Her: I just went to the store to buy bread! Me: Longest six minutes ever"

"214 of the 234 girls rescued in Nigeria from Boko Haram are pregnant? The other 20 girls must feel pretty fucking ugly."

"""Half a dozen"" because saying 6' is way too long..."

"Newtonian physics are a good approximation for big objects that move slowly Like your mom"

"Did you hear about that new space mosque? It's Allah this world!"

"I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work"

"No one cares if you go to the bathroom. In fact, you are the only one who gives a shit."

"Really no offense ladies,but why do all of you go on about your weight..then post all this food that would clog and artery..."

"When a relationship becomes too much work can you outsource the work to China?"