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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar? He wanted to take a month off."

"I saw a very odd Middle Eastern market the other day. It was quite bazaar."

"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"

"5-year-old: I'll stop asking you to take our family to Disneyland Me: You finally understand we can't afford it 5: You should just send me"

"Do you think the husband of the GPS lady listens to her directions?"

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""And you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."

"Hey Green Bay - what are you packing? Meat? Fudge? Of course, if it's heat, my sincere apologies."

"How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face"

"I'm thinking of changing career and becoming a professional circumciser. . . The pay is lousy, but I hear you get plenty of tips."

"It's okay when Pac Man runs all over the place eating pills and claiming ghosts are after him but when I do it I'm ""crazy."""