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Joke of the Day

"the guy who named the spatula was so lazy. hes like ""what should i call this thing that spatulas?"""

"What's Bruce Lee's favorite car? Kiaaaaaaaa"

"2013 is nearly over so like this status if I've ever made you smile this year."

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. ""Yes"" is the answer."

"Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You'll know what I mean."

"I had to file a sexual harassment claim against a squirrel in the park yesterday... ...he wouldn't stop trying to grab my nut sack."

"Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse."

"[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would"

"Why are gifts in airports so expensive? God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift."

"What's the difference between a jeep and a rental car? A rental car can go anywhere"