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Joke of the Day

"What do you call 9 idiots who laugh at repetitive joke? 9gag"

"What does a television have in common with a rabbit? His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh."

"I bought a blowup doll today, but I won't blow her up until tomorrow. I don't want to seem desperate."

"Just told a couple disbelieving millennials about how we used to have to poop without cell phones."

"If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China."

"What is Red and Smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint"

"I was in the attic the other day... ...and I found a Christmas present that I meant to give to my daughter a year ago. It's a shame I forgot about it, she always wanted a puppy."

"What did the leper say to the hooker? keep the tip. ;)"

"Apparently, Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer is divorced. I guess she was the only bitch he couldn't train."

"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"