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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Can you check the dryer? Me: You put a check in the dryer? Don't you know money laundering is illegal?"

"What's the best thing about having sex with Twenty Five year olds? There's 20 of them."

"""I really thought by now we'd all have robots,"" he wrote, typing on a small device containing the sum of the world's knowledge."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"" Edit: Yay top of r/jokes, #lifegoals Also formatting"

"I wish I was in a gang so I knew what do to with my hands in pictures."

"Who translated ""The Flat-Chested Woman"" from the original Russian? Vasily Bithertitoff"

"Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far from their bodies."

"My dad told me never to explain fashion to Tommy, Hilfiger."

"What do you call a lot of cactus? A cac-ton"

"I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs."