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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick."

"What's the difference between a New Yorker and a Canadian? A New Yorker takes the A train; a Canadian takes the train, eh."

"I donate money to single mothers going to nursing school... One dollar at a time."

"Whenever someone says they did something ""like a boss"" I assume that means they didn't do it at all and are taking credit for it."

"A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else."

"What do you call someone who raises the dead by giving them hickeys? A Neckromancer"

"What do Greek soccer players wear? Soccer tee's"

"What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night? Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny."

"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god I had to explain that Buddha isn't Greek."

"I skipped 9 puns and killed the last one... That's a pun in ten dead."