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Joke of the Day

"""I have parrot-like reflexes."" ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"""

"Reddit is really a green community, considering all the recycled content on here."

"A waiter just asked me if eat meat. I felt like a 70 year old women getting carded at a bar."

"What do kids eat for breakfast? Yogoat"

"My dog was diagnosed with diabetes. Its okay though, I only had to give her one shot. I chose a .357 magnum."

"Two men walk into a bar.... ...the third one sees this and ducks."

"Girls are a lot like sleeping bags. I really like being inside them, and they cost about $200."

"I wish more fat people would utilize the phrase ""Blimpin ain't easy."""

"Two cows are grazing in a field... One turns to the other and asks ""Have you heard all this talk of mad cow disease?"" The other replies ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter"""

"If Yo Yo Ma doesn't answer the phone by saying ""cello"" then I consider his entire life a failure."