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Joke of the Day

"Today is the day when Marty Mcfly was supposed to arrive in the future and we still don't have hoverboards! I bet you that Michael J. Fox is just sitting at home shaking with anger"

"The boy is putting whipped cream on the cat. I think he may have overheard a conversation he didn't understand quite so well."

"Mattel is launching a new Twitter Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box"

"What kind of photograph does Arnold Schwarzenegger take? Polaroids."

"My Sister recently started dating a depressed German airline pilot She says his personality is really down to earth."

"Why did Negan watch Arrested Development? Someone told him there were two Lucilles"

"Two kinds of girls There are two kinds of girls in the world: Girls with big tits...and girls that get in the way when I'm trying to look at 'em !!"

"I have great muscle memory I totally remember when I was in shape."

"What is a Skeletons porn-star name? Mr.Boner *edit I give this partial credit to that guy that sells meth on the street he-he."

"Hello, Mr. Bond. *shuffles UNO cards* I've been expecting you. *sinks into bean bag chair*"