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Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"Did you hear Willie Nelson died? He was playing on the road again."

"A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The seals says, ""Anything but a Canadian Club."""

"A zombie walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""Get a life."""

"The LIKE button: also for choosing sides in a Facebook argument without saying anything."

"Question: How many men does it take to mop the floor? Answer: None it's a women's job."

"You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you."

"I just realized why my dogs are afraid of thunder. They don't have any balls."

"They say there's safety in numbers... Well tell that to 6 million Jews"

"What is the definition of 'making love'? Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her."