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Joke of the Day
"16,875,547,322 traffic-related bug deaths so far this year"
Next Joke
"Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable."
"I'm on a whiskey diet I've lost 3 days already."
"What did the young witch say to her mother ? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !"
"My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time."
"Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids... I won!! No one's a match for me and my kettle."
"Her: hear that? Me: nope Her: what if someone's is trying to get in to murder me? Me: only person that wants to murder you is already inside"
"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in."
"Couples that stay fit together don't trust each other enough to go to the gym alone"
"People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it."