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Joke of the Day

"*robbing a bank with a chainsaw* Me: GIVE ME ALL Y- Teller: WHAT M: GIVE ME THE MONEY T: SIR YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT IN HERE M: WHAT"

"911 what's your emergency? I FARTED ON THE FIRST DATE. Ma'am we don't-- IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION"

"In life, as in sex, my personal preference has always been to ignore the asshole"

"What does the nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business."

"whats the definition of a will? (lol come on guys its a dead giveaway)"

"What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter."

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"A woman walks into a bar... ""Ouch!"" she yelled."

"Where do college students go for medical attention? An I.V. League."