173034

Joke of the Day

"What do the twin towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now."

"Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum; I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing..."

"Do those ""selfie sticks"" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?"

"I like my women like I like my Poke Stops. Ready to go again in 5 minutes."

"I've spent 43 years not being productive, skinny, rich & famous. Why start now?"

"Why shouldn't you play against Adolf Hitler in Madden? Because he always blitzes."

"What do exchange students and porn addicts have in common? They both study abroad."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"""Hi mom, don't worry but I'm in the hospital."" ""Heinz, stop calling me like that. You are now a doctor since 8 years."""

"The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the"