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Joke of the Day

"Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available."

"I've been driving for 20 years And I still haven't seen any fast children at play"

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg."

"What surfs the Internet and goes 'Choo Choo'? Thomas the Search Engine."

"What is worse than waking up with your dick in your mouth after sleeping with your gf? Waking up with her dick in your mouth"

"Why do feminists make bad mass shooters? Because they always give a trigger warning."

"I've decided to take the day off today. I'm just going to call it to."

"I had a girlfriend.... I once had a girlfriend with a taser.... She was STUNNING (Old joke possibly in this reddit too....)"

"What did the fertilizer say to the grass? I'm the shit."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw!"