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Joke of the Day

"Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either."

"i was singing a christmas song I was Singing a Christmas song and I replaced mistel with camel"

"My sex life is like a Bond villain... Goldfinger"

"I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's."

"Why do bees hum ? Because they've forgotten the words !"

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything..."

"Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles."

"What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator? An investigator."

"I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards"

"What do a mystic and a hot dog vendor have in common? They'll both make you one with everything."