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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you catch an orange elephant? A: I don't know. I've never seen an orange elephant."

"Trading gold for a good consulting / corporate or office joke... Guys, it's been a long day, I need a laugh and I've got three months of gold to give away. Help me out?"

"It weirds me out my phone won't swear. What, is it religious?"

"It's not a nap if you never got out of bed."

"Why did Newton's wife got pregnant? Because he doesn't believe in using quantum"

"Don't even try to laugh. What did the sensitive vagina say to the penis that was critical of everything? Stop Cliticizing me!"

"What do you call a pompous piece of bread? A braguette."

"People ask me why I don't like spoons. Idk why really. They just seem pointless to me."

"Hottest day ever recorded in November and my neighbor is already installing Christmas lights. So don't send me a fruitcake. Already got one."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."