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Joke of the Day

"""I just want a nice guy who treats me right."" said every girl who dumped that dude like ten times."

"What's E.T. short for? His legs are small."

"I'm in awe of people who can pronounce camaraderie correctly the first, second or tenth time."

"A local grocery bagger has been bagging cola on top of bread. Many were concerned that their bread would be flattened. His response to their concerns was ""It's fine. They're soft drinks"""

"I changed my major from being an actuary. I just couldn't handle the risk."

"A french gymnast is getting ready to perform... His coach walks up and says, ""Break a leg!"""

"Q: What did the blonde say during a porno? A: ""There I am!"""

"What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Fresh Jews."

"To catch chlamydia, you have to think like chlamydia."

"Relationship Status: Very relieved towels can't get pregnant."